Casa Vernon Bed and Breakfast belongs to my closest friend, Chris Vernon, and back in November last year Chris and his wife Monica invited me down to Italy for a ten day holiday, to catch up on old times and to take a look at their beautiful new home/bed and breakfast near Salerno in Southern Italy. I was chuffed with the invite because I needed the break and more importantly I hadn't seen Chris for about 14 1/2 years and I had never met Monica.

Well I decided that I was going to go on my own because it would have been too expensive for all of us as a family and I also fancied the challenge of travelling alone. After having booked a flight and arranged for a pick up at the airport with Chris, I started to think about what I would need for the journey. So I made a list and it looked something like this:

1. Passport and Ticket (first on the list after last time)
2. Three changes of clothes (one to wear, one to change into and one for emergencies)
3. One pair shoes (the only pair I own, paralysed people go along way on one pair of shoes)
4. Plenty of clean underpants
5. Pills (40 neurotine, 30 vitamine C, 40 cranactine)
6. 10 Suppositories (one a day)
7. 30 latex gloves
8. 35 throw away towels
9. 85 catheters (60 for normal use and 25 extra in case of a few boys' nights out)
10. 50 urine bags (I can reuse some and do my bit for recycling, I must be turning green)
11. Present for Chris and Monica

After having made the list I got my bag out of the cupboard and started packing. I got down to number 7 on the list and was more than happy with my progress and pleased to see that there was still room left in my bag. I was so happy in actual fact, I left my bag on the bed and headed into the kitchen for a celebratory cup of tea. I had a chat with Lou and we talked about my trip down to Italy and I ensured her I would be OK and she didn't need to worry and she ensured me that the kids would be OK. After my tea I returned to the bedroom and started packing the last three bits on the list and that's when it hit me: 

how on earth am I going to get 35 padded towels, 85 catheters and 50 urine bags into there and how on earth am I ever going to carry a bag bigger than that?, I am going to struggle with that as it is. I know, it's a question of elimination.

After due consideration I had to make the decision that Chris and Monica's present would have to stay because I just couldn't have got it in.

In case you were wondering what it was Chris, here it is. I made it myself from a piece of oak that I found at the tip (I really am turning green), I hope you like it. Next time I come down to see the two of you I will bring it on down. As you can see it was a good job that it didn't fit in the bag because it gives me the chance to do some more sanding and put some lacquer on it for a better finish.

After making my decisions and finally squeezing everything into my sports bag, I had a good nights sleep and was ready to leave at 9.00 the next day.

I booked into the plane and gave Lou and the kids a kiss goodbye. After having being frisked at customs I headed down to the departure gate. On arrival at the gate there was a ten minute weight before our flight was called and I headed down to the plane.

On arriving at the plane I was manhandelled, by two stewards, out of my wheelchair and into what they refered to as a courtesy wheelchair. Take it from me they really shouldn't call it a courtesy wheelchair they would be better off refering to them as plank of wood on rollers, it was as hard as nails and to top the lot they left the safety buckle on the back of the chair which gave me a nasty bruise on my back that lasted for days. Anyway, they got me onboard and before I knew it I was winging my way to Naples and would soon be in Salerno singing The Boys are Back in Town.

When we landed I had to wait until the rest of the passengers had disembarked before I was presented with my very own wheelchair and gently helped in by a friendly Italian airport steward. He then proceeded to push me out of the plane and into a scissor action lift that had come along side the plane door. The steward then took me through to the airport exit and there I was in Italy and just about to see my oldest friend...